check it out our google latitudes are spooning
from now on my penis is your penis
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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