Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
