I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
