sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just pee around me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Randomize
