I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
