Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
