Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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