She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
