I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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