this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
