He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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