dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
