I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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