his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
