idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize