Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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