there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
3 2 1 whiskey
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
