people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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