DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
