the new term for farting is butt boxing.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
