I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I want her autograph on my taint
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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