I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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