I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
