My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
