You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
