Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
