Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Floor bacon is actually really good
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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