Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
