Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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