non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
