I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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