You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
