never play flip cup with pint glasses
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
