it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I want her autograph on my taint
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
