for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Terrible idea I love it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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