so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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