Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
