her vagine was all disorganized.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We talked him into tasing himself.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
