I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
