whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
