I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
