U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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