This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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