I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
