he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
