It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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