And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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