we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
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