It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
