i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
