there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
