let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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