Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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