A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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