theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
