i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
