Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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