I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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