Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
