There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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