quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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