U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
