I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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